Relationships are complex and no two cases are ever identical. The people we have in our lives and the relationships we form will change as we grow and heal during the recovery process. This is especially true for relationships during addiction recovery.
Often Health Recovery Center clients tell us that previous counselors have advised them to cut themselves off from parents who mistreated them as children. Although that may be possible physically, it is nearly impossible to sever spiritual and emotional bonds with parents.
If one or both of your parents was actively alcoholic when you were growing up, you may have a lot of painful memories. Not many illnesses destroy sanity as dramatically as alcoholism. Now that you understand the effects of this disease, you can see your parent's behavior in light of the unstable brain chemistry alcoholism promotes.
At Health Recovery Center, we encourage clients to renew relationships with parents whenever possible in order to knock down walls built over the years. Sharing your love with others is a precious spiritual experience. Don't be afraid to tell those dear to you that you love them.
Finding a partner and being in a relationship can be a wonderful and rewarding experience. However, if the relationship is unhealthy it can be terrible and detrimental to your recovery. At a time when you are at your most vulnerable it is important to look out for your emotional well-being.
Ask yourself these questions about your relationship:
- Do you depend on your mate for good feelings?
- Do your moods alter according to your mate's moods?
- Has your sense of self-worth diminished?
- Does most of your life revolve around trying to please your mate?
- Are you afraid that making waves will cost you the relationship?
- Do you feel an obsessive need to possess your mate's affections in order to define yourself as a worthwhile human being?
If you answer yes to any of these questions, the relationship is not healthy and is not likely to bring you lasting happiness. Under these circumstances, put your sobriety first and get off the emotional roller coaster as fast as possible. The tormented feelings these relationships engender have nothing to do with real love. Despite your unreasonable fixation with the person, nothing of value will be lost if you walk away.